From a survival perspective, adolescence is the moment when the human species prepares to go it alone.
It looks to assess what neurobiology has been used and what is superfluous for the next stage of life, making it easier and quicker to think, act or react through neural pruning.
The human species is ensured through relationship seeking outside the family unit. It makes sense, in order for this to occur, a period of novelty seeking & a higher threshold for risk-taking is required to propel us from our cozy nests, where we are largely taken care of, out into the world to find the interest, respect and trust of those from another ‘tribe’.
The sense of drive to connect with others, and particularly peers, is how we continue to exist, as these new bonds ensure families grow through new DNA
There is increased social behaviour, novelty and sensation seeking, tendencies toward risk-taking, emotional instability, and impulsivity
Peer relationships become dominant, and there are greater inclinations to seek out fun and exciting experiences
For this transition from child to adult to take place, healthy male leadership and role modelling are imperative. Without it, evidence shows, boys will seek to self-initiate, but with only the skills and capabilities that exist through boy-based psychology- Rarely, if ever, stepping into healthy adult manhood
The role of fathers or close male role models is the key ingredient to ensuring adolescent boys make the transition from boy to man safely, without causing harm to self or others and to having healthy emotional and social capability
The missing step of genuine initiation, whereby boys are witnessed into the realm of healthy young adulthood by men who have stepped from their own boyhood into the leaders and mentors for the next generation, has left us with a world of boys.
Adult males who are still operating from the place of ‘boy’ can be recognised through the attributes of believing they are the centre of the universe, looking to have their needs met by others, not taking personal responsibility, unmatched freedoms and responsibilities and gratification seeking in order to contribute fairly.
Men who are still operating from boy psychology CANNOT lead boys forward into healthy adulthood.
Men are the answer to what boys are looking for. The research is significant and broad- from academic performance through to the ability to access nuanced and tender emotions, the contributions men make, the relationships with their partners and their future children all hinge greatly on men leading the way, holding the torch and creating a space that boys can step up into as expectations shift and new, important roles emerge.
Boy psychology dictates:
- I am the centre of the universe and need constant attention
- Other males are competition, and power is for me.
- I will live forever
- I take no responsibility for my actions
- I am ruled by my emotions
- I seek to be taken care of in my romantic relationships
- I need others to apply healthy limits for me
- I will avoid hard or undesirable tasks unless I receive benefit or credit
Healthy adult male psychology connects:
- I am part of the universe and do what I believe is right
- I work together with other males, and power is for the good of the community.
- I am mortal- I can and will die someday
- I take full responsibility for my actions.
- I can feel and own my emotions
- I seek healthy romantic relationships that are equal
- I can apply healthy limits that serve myself and others
- I understand that life requires active engagement and contribution, and I participate equally to create the best outcomes for myself and those I love.
Sturman DA, Moghaddam B. The neurobiology of adolescence: changes in brain architecture, functional dynamics, and behavioural tendencies. Neurosci Biobehav Rev. 2011 Aug;35(8):1704-12. doi: 10.1016/j.neubiorev.2011.04.003. Epub 2011 Apr 15. PMID: 21527288; PMCID: PMC3222328.
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